So I’m now at the age that most people would call Midlife. My husband jokingly calls it “the Back Nine,” referring to the last nine holes of an eighteen hole golf course. I don’t play golf, but I certainly get the gist!

When I was a kid, I remember hearing about how people would often have a “Midlife Crisis.” They would do wacky, out-of-the-ordinary things. They would not act like their former selves. They would often hurt and leave the people they loved. They would buy expensive items, sometimes ones they could not really afford.

So here I am looking for what may be a crisis. And the interesting thing is that I’ve yet to find one!

Here’s what I’ve found instead. Maybe you are experiencing some of the same, or something completely different. I am experiencing: Awakening, Relaxing, Accepting, Exploring, Discovering… New-Found Confidence.

That doesn’t sound like a crisis to me. What is sounds like is coming into your own. I am calling it Aging Into Confidence. (That is me being very positive and trying not to offend. The New Yorker in me wants to call it something much worse! But I am thinking that Aging Into Confidence is a little less harsh.) 🙂

The more I have been thinking about this and chatting with friends, colleagues, and clients about it, I’ve realized that I am not alone. Lots of midlife women (and men) are feeling a freedom that may not have been there earlier in their lives. So it seems that we’ve done a pretty good job of becoming ourselves. And that’s a really good thing.

And it’s about time, right?

It’s almost like many of us turn fifty and an internal filter that was always there gets switched off. We don’t do as much second-guessing and doubting of ourselves. We don’t care as much what others think. We are more confident and relaxed about things that we used to get worked up about.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean this in a bad way. It’s not that we don’t care. Oh we do. We really really do. Probably more than ever. It’s just that our caring is less control-freakish and more quietly and calmly strong.

We say “No” more often and more fully to things that don’t interest us, sap our energy, or are meant to shape us into someone else’s version of ourselves. We say “Yes’ to opportunities and interests that are more worthwhile endeavors of our time. And we do this without the all-encompassing guilt that grabbed us by the throat so often in our younger adult years and made us sweat all too often.

We were always taught that age brought wrinkles and laugh lines. And now that many of us have arrived at midlife, we realize that yes, there are wrinkles and laugh lines (and lots of other unpleasant signs of aging). But there is also wisdom, confidence, and a carefree attitude that feels great.

So if this is the supposed Midlife Crisis, I’ll take it, thank you very much.

About Lisa Montanaro

Lisa Montanaro is a Productivity Consultant, Success Coach, Business Strategist, Speaker and Author who helps people live successful and passionate lives, and enjoy productive and profitable businesses. To receive her free Toolkit, Achieve Powerhouse Success with Purpose, Passion & Productivity, visit Lisa is the author of "The Ultimate Life Organizer: An Interactive Guide to a Simpler, Less Stressful & More Organized Life" published by Peter Pauper Press. Through her work, Lisa helps people deal with the issues that block personal and professional change and growth. To explore how Lisa can help you be purposeful, passionate and productive, contact Lisa at (530) 302-5306 or by e-mail at .

4 Responses to “Where is This Supposed “Midlife Crisis?” Aging Into Confidence on the Back-Nine”

  1. Lisa Gessert

    Excellent blog on Mid-Life crisis!!
    I just turned the BIG 60 in March!! I have never been better. The confidence soars even higher. I am asked all the time “when are you going to retire”…my response “Do I have to?”
    My profession as an organizer keeps me young! My business is doing very well and I am happy = No Retirement.
    Thanks for a great blog.
    Lisa Gessert

    • Lisa Montanaro

      Hi Lisa –

      Thanks for your comment. So happy this post resonated with you.

      Glad to hear you are loving 60! And you bring up a good point. Not only are folks not facing a midlife crisis and confidence is soaring, but many are choosing not to fully retire if they love their work, career or business. If you love what you do, and already have the freedom and flexibility of choosing your schedule, it is a beautiful thing. And it is keeping you young, to boot. Bonus!!

  2. Janet Barclay

    I chose Confidence as “my word” for 2019, so I’ll try to remember that I’m wise and that it really doesn’t matter what others think. Thanks for the reminder!


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